I admit it, I’m addicted to golf. I play a few times a week, and when I’m done I grab a beverage and watch golf with my buddies. I love watching these guys hit shots I can only dream about while competing for a lifetime’s worth of money on a given weekend. I love the announcers, and I love the piped-in wildlife sounds that complete the experience. I love it all! 

Well, almost. The one problem I have with pro golf is that so many of the guys are duds! We see them quietly going about their games and offering cliches and platitudes in post-round interviews they would clearly rather skip. Thankfully, however, there are a handful of these Kings of the Greens that keep life on the links interesting. In fact, some of these guys are such characters that they can only be truly appreciated when viewed through the lens of my other televised addiction: the classic sitcom.

Bryson Dechambeau

When Bryson broke onto the tour, many viewed him as a young genius, a Doogie Howser type if you will. Unfortunately now, after a couple of years, he has lost his youthful luster and turned into a bit of an insufferable know-it-all. When I think of this archetype only one name comes to mind: Cliff Clavin. Cliff was America’s favorite beer-swigging mailman on Cheers for a decade, but he drove the other patrons nuts with his constant, and oft-misinformed, pontificating. And God protect you if you utter a negative word about the U.S. Postal Service. Remind you of anyone else when the phrase “slow play” is mentioned? 

Ian Poulter 

He’s brash, confident (cocky) and, at least in the States, viewed as a villain. Mix in the English accent and you’ve got a life-sized Stewie Griffin. I truly believe that Poults secretly plots to take over the world if his Ryder Cup performances are any clue. Let’s face it, anyone with their own Ferrari museum is at least a wee bit evil, and watching Family Guy’s Stewie try to get out of his crib is a bit like watching Ian at the Majors.

Phil Mickelson

He’s our Bart Simpson. They both don’t seem to age, they love practical jokes, and they’ve been great since the early ‘90s.

Tiger Woods

I hate to go back to the Cheers well, but Tiger is definitely Sam Malone. Now, you might ask what a washed-up relief pitcher turned bar owner and the greatest golfer of all time have in common? Well, Sam went to rehab, cheated on a blond with every waitress in town, and America still tuned in every week to root for him. Sound familiar?

John Daly

Well…Homer Simpson, Al Bundy, Archie Bunker, Boss Hogg, etc., etc., etc. Need I say more?

And finally, Jordan Spieth 

As I stated in my premise, a lot of the guys on tour are a bit bland. Well, sometimes a sitcom character is as well. And in recognition of this, I dub Jordan the Ted Mosby of the PGA Tour. Ted was the lead star of his show, How I Met Your Mother, much like Jordan was the best golfer in the world. The other thing they have in common? While you’re happy enough when they do well, you’re really tuning in for the rest of the cast. 

Honorable Mentions

Dustin Johnson as Joey Tribbiani (Friends)

Sergio Garcia as Fez (That ’70s Show) 

Johnny Miller as Frank Costanza (Seinfeld)