Golf wasn’t complicated, it was difficult yes, but complicated? No. 

It used to have a sense of elegance and beauty like a bird drinking from a fountain or a child chasing a bubble down the street. Those days are gone and we have big data to blame for it.

For the record, I am not the type of person to take a stance for argument’s sake. I typically will hide in the shadows of an argument and let the smart people duke it out, then without notice, I hit them with my all-time great argument comeback – Is it though? (Or some variation of that saying). I say those three simple words with my tone going way up on the last word and then I give it a beat and walk away. I have lost exactly ZERO arguments with this tactic.

Here is an example of how to use this for your next annoying wine party at the neighbor’s house:

One Harvard graduate is talking about big pharma and how they hold onto the American wallet and their Wall Street connections make them the antichrist.

The other Ivy Leaguer is intimating that while the effect isn’t ideal, the need for medicine and capitalism is paramount to our civilization. So as the debate heats up and both are at their boiling point and mentally exhausted with all the references, points of refutations and rebuttals, I sidle up next to them and say, “Is it though?”, a beat, and an about-face out of the room. Ballgame over. You’re welcome.

DATA WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

Now back to big data in golf and how it has ruined the hack golfer for all time. Hacks used to just buy clubs that somebody used to own at a garage sale for $35 and if that set had only 7 clubs in it, well that’s what we played with.

Now we have to be “properly fitted for our swing”. Well, my swing sucks, do you have a club for that?

We have to worry about shaft length, the loft of the club, rpm of the ball, trajectory of the shot, ball carry, and the dreaded club speed measurement. That is too much to know or care about for a 20-handicap. Because of all of these stats and data points swirling around in our head the hack is nervous, timid, and ultimately a bad golfer. The reason I can’t get any better is that the scientists behind golf’s big data conspiracy are trying to turn my golf brain into John Nash, and I won’t have it any longer.

Goodbye data – you have ruined my golf game.

“Has it though?”