Let’s just set the record straight that I have never had a hole-in-one in my golf career. In fact, I have not come within 20-feet of a hole in one but I have seen a few and I have been on the course when somebody on the other nine got one. Do you know what happens next?

I get free drinks. Why?

Because that is the rule.

Life is made up of ridiculous rules that were put in place many years ago and hold true to this day for no reason other than tradition. One of those rules, although it has benefited me many times as a recipient, is the charge you get if you hit a hole-in-one. That’s right, you are taxed for your good fortune. You hit a once in a lifetime, million to one shot and for your efforts, you now have to buy 30 people (unless you’re even more unlucky and do it on member/guest day) drinks at the bar to celebrate.

Have you gotten a promotion at work and then immediately started dolling out $20’s to co-workers? Ever win the lottery and then split your winnings with the neighborhood for no reason at all other than it is the “rule”? No, because that is stupid.


I can assume that one day years ago, some guy named Jerry hit a hole-in-one and in a weak moment of bravado told everybody at the club, “Drinks are on me, let’s get hammered and forget our names.” A tradition was born.

There are few moments in life where you get ALL the attention. And ironically the moments you do get a lot of attention, you don’t remember them – your wedding, your first birthday, and your hole-in-one day.

Why are we as a society ruining that moment? Because you are all savage greedy bastards.

Now if you will excuse me, I think Patty just aced one in the women’s 9-hole league, time to get drunk.