“What are we playing for?” 

That question has been asked to me moments before the first tee by the golf gamblers of the club. My answer is always the same confusing answer – you mean like the money?

I am not playing golf for any other reason other than to get out of the house and have a laugh or two with a couple of my friends. Yet, I somehow always manage to find myself in a game with some sticks that know without a doubt that $25 is theirs in four short hours. The betting games are always confusing and quite frankly, I think made up as we play, because they know I’m stupid and can’t do simple math let alone follow along with an arbitrary point system for each shot on each hole.

Despite a universal handicap system that is designed to make the game of golf more fair for all types of skill levels compete against each other, I lose 100% of the time. Why? Is it because I let the stress of the situation, the game, the moment, the money take over my body and become more inept then I already was at hitting a golf ball?

Yes. That’s exactly why.

Before the round I always say to myself that I will just politely decline the invitation to make the game “more interesting” as I don’t need it to be interesting, I need it to be easier! However, the guy chromosome fires up in my mind and I agree to play a game called bongo, which I don’t understand, while I’m playing a game called golf, which I also don’t understand.

Now, if you were telling me this story, I would call you stupid. I would tell you to man up and tell those cheaters to find another way to make some money for the jack and coke at the turn. But it’s not you telling me this story – this is my story and my life. But know that the day I finally win will be the greatest day in golf history.

Then I will be the one asking those turds if they want to make those a little more interesting.