Getting grips for your clubs is something sticks do every year and hacks never think of doing in their life. And going through the process is interesting.

With golf, their equipment is everything to some players and a non-factor to others. However, a players grip on their clubs, no matter how good or bad is the one thing that most should take notice of every year. The analysts stipulate the length of time a golfer should regrip their clubs is every 1-2 years depending on play. So it was time to take my clubs “into the shop” just like they are my vehicle getting new treads.

Which brings me to an interesting point. Why is it that buying tires for my Honda Pilot is easier?

I called the guy at the Discount Tires Today store.  He grunts his name which I don’t catch and then says, “M’elp You?”

“Yah”, I return in the same barely cordial tone. “Need to set a time for four new tires for my vehicle.”

  “Year?” he mumbles.

“Well, this one if at all possible”. I shoot back.

“Huh? “What is your vehicles year and type?” 

I’d gotten used to him by now so I politely gave him the info. He gave me an easy appointment time, estimated wait time, and cost. Those tires went on, and now I don’t feel the thump from the back left and the steering is smooth as silk.  


The conversation at the golf shop when appointing the retreading of my clubs was a much more sophisticated banter, but it left me with a giant rent in my self-esteem.  Did I know that putting rubber on a shaft (yup, that’s what it is) was so involved?

The pro was polite and informative. He started by asking me about my level of play. Level? Uh, sort-of suck? Semi-skilled? I don’t know.

“How often do you play and what’s your handicap” he clarified. Do I travel with these clubs into other conditions? How do I store my clubs in the winter? How long have you owned these clubs? Are these the original grips?

If I had been anymore interrogated I would have thought I was talking to my wife after taking our daughter by myself to the pediatrician. It seemed dire that I provide all the right information.  I’m panicking and sweating and for some reason lying to him.

He went on to describe the additional comfort I would feel. He tested my grip. Watched my swing. Looked over my clubs for other conditioning or repairs. (I had expected that from Mumbles at Tire Today. Gotta add shocks or struts, but that didn’t happen!)

Finally after what seemed a lengthy discussion and evaluation How Big Data has Ruined Golf, Seth the Pro shook my hand and said, “We’ll have them ready in a week. Does that work for you?”

“Work? This part has been work, but since you promise it will take strokes off of my game and improve my wrist action, then take them and call me when they’re done.”   


First game out with my new grips. Ending up eight strokes over my usual score.  What is this shit wrapping paper he has put on my clubs? What has he done to my game and my life?

I raged home with the intention of throwing the clubs into the shed never to be used again. I pouted to my wife about the awful day and described in detail the frustration, annoyance, and hatred I have for my clubs, golf, and for some reason Seth. 

 “Geez babe,” she said, as she walked out of the room.

“You need to get a grip.”